Oh look, Madison, Tyler and Gwyneth are having a dinner party! Guess what they’re serving. Yup - everyone’s favorite ethnic cuisine: Japanese! White people sure do love Japanese food, probably because of how they perceive Japanese culture: neat, tidy and modern, like their economical compact cars and fancy butt-washing toilets. You ever sit on one of those and hit every button simultaneously? Until you do, you haven’t lived. Kind of like eating sushi.
Check out how precious the sushi is! It’s so fresh it glistens and it literally melts in your mouth! Newsflash, people: when writing about sushi - which, incidentally, doesn’t actually reference the raw fish but the rice - using words like “fresh,” “glistening” or “literally melts in your mouth” means you are a terrible human being who probably posts reviews on Yelp. Probably? No, definitely.
I bet these people dunk their sushi into soy sauce rice side down, and think “Arigato gozaimasu” means “The valet is here now with your late model BMW parked outside.” Fuck you times a thousand, Gwyneth. Can’t you drive a hoop d like the rest of us?
Don’t even get me started on the poor chopsticks technique old Madison is employing here. Homegirl should stick to giving the FedEx man toothy blow jobs while her stockbroker husband is snorting their 401K up his nose and diddling his assistant. It’s just the law of life, man.